drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
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I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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