everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
