Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
