so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
