I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
