Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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