I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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