Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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