Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
