If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
