I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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