Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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