i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
