Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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