How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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