Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
