Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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