He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
