So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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