he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
