For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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