I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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