Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
