I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There r osticjed everywhere
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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