I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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