dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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