im gay
i know
yea but for you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
