i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
