New invention idea: vibrating tampons
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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