She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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