ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
