she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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