some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
