ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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