lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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