I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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