well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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