wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Everything about him screamed your future.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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