well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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