hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
there's paper in my vomit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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