he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
