Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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