how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
