All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
