i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
