Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
