I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
