1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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