I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't deserve a penis
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
