Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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