so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
