I CAN MOONWALK!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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