Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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