Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to calm my uterus...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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