I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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