just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
