You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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